Impatient

I am at CD 47 with no sign of a period.  Each time I call the clinic to check in, they say “wait 2-3 more days, then call if you haven’t gotten your period.”  And then I call, and they say to wait longer.  Eventually, they’ll induce with progesterone, which means another 10-14 days until CD 1, when we can get this process started.  I am so impatient.  C is frustrated wtih me and says to look on the bright side–more time to relax, save, and enjoy a few glasses of wine.  But I just feel my biological clock ticking away and it makes me CRAZY.  

In better news, I got some of my test results back–thyroid, hemoglobin and even testosterone were all good/normal.  (I was surprised about the testosterone since I have PCOS, but it was at the high end of the normal range.)  That’s a good sign, right?

Could 2014 be our year?

 

 

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A sad surprise

This past week was not what we expected.  We had our initial consultation with our RE, Dr. E, last Thursday (which also happened to be my 32nd birthday).   I’d expected her to counsel us on lifestyle changes and perhaps recommend IUIs some new medication–maybe Femara instead of Clomid. Instead, she suggested that we do one diagnostic cycle with IUI, then go directly (or at least very promptly) to IVF. Since we are paying out of pocket and each IUI costs about $2000 and has only a 10-15% chance of success, there’s a good likelihood that we could spend 6 months or more (and $10,000 or more) without pregnancy. With IVF, our chances are much better.

I was taken aback at first–surely we, two healthy people with a little ovulation difficulty–don’t need IVF! But after some time, this route starts to seem more appealing–the cost is high (aka astronomical) but we are lucky enough to be able to afford it, and this gives us a real chance of success–maybe even in 2014! I’m more afraid of months and months of trying without success than paying for IVF.

Since I was CD 35 the day of our appointment (without any sign of a period), the clinic wanted me to take hCG and progesterone blood tests, and if hCG was negative and progesterone low, to take progesterone for 10 days to induce a period and start our diagnostic cycle with IUI. We knew it would be–I’d had a negative HPT that morning–so I took the test and filled my progesterone prescription.

The next day, I got a call from the clinic–my hCG was positive, but very low–only 4. The nurse said this was either a really, really early pregnancy, or a chemical pregnancy. I needed to get another test a few days later to see whether it was increasing or decreasing. I knew that the chances were not good, but the nurse told me that many women with an initial beta of 4 go on to have healthy babies. And since I wasn’t sure when I’d ovulated, it might just be really early–it was only 6 days past my last positive OPK (although Dr. E told me that those are not reliable for me).

C was thrilled–he said that no matter the outcome, this was a good sign that “our parts work.” I know that’s true, but I was so hopeful that it was even better news.

The next beta was under 2.

And now we more forward.

So ready for you…

After religiously stalking TTC and infertility blogs, I’ve taken the plunge and started one of my own.  I’ve found such comfort and knowledge (and shed a few tears) reading everyone else’s stories–time for mine.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a mother.   I thought I was (finally) well on my way when I got engaged at 29.  Because we weren’t getting any younger and we knew we were getting married, we got rid of birth control a few months before our September 2012 wedding.  And a year and a half later, here we are, with months of charting, months of clomid and months of (oh-so-romantic) timed intercourse under our belts, with nothing to show for it but an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist later this week (on my 32nd birthday). 

And we’re so ready for you, baby!