Wow, I did not intend to disappear for so long! I’m not quite sure why, but wasn’t feeling much like writing… the initial days post-beta were so surreal and felt so uncertain, that I didn’t quite even feel like writing. And then, just the day after our second beta, my sister-in-law (C’s sister) passed away after a long, terrible battle with colon cancer. That’s not something that is really mine to write about, but it had been a huge part of our lives for the past year and a half. I will always be thankful that C was able to tell her about our pregnancy before she passed, but it has made this already tenuous period in our lives even more bittersweet and confusing.
Anyway, other than a few waves of nausea and slightly more fatigue than usual (and I’m usually a pretty sleepy girl!), I have felt very little in the way of symptoms. This, of course, made me even more anxious as I went into my viability ultrasound, which we did at 6w2d. I was able to schedule over the lunch hour so that C could join me, which was nice. (He often claims to be too busy at work to get away, which I find frustrating–it’s not like I’ve had any choice about missing tons of work over the past few months…the least he can do is make a few appointments and be gracious about it.) Anyway, we arrived early, and they were running behind, of course (which only seems to happen when we’re actually seeing the doctor–the nurses and ultrasound techs always run on time), so I sat there, actually afraid I might throw up (from nerves, not morning sickness!). Finally, they called us back and we got started. The tech started scanning, them immediately moved the screen out of my view, so I had a terrible feeling that it was bad news. I looked at the doctor, and she said “you’ll see soon” and gave me a thumbs up. So I figured things must be okay (and I’m still not sure why the tech moved the screen!). Finally, she moved the screen back and showed us the gestational sac, embryo, and yolk sac, all measuring perfectly, and the heartbeat, flickering away. (We didn’t get to hear it–I’m not sure whether it was just too early or whether their equipment didn’t provide for that?) She said everything looked perfect and asked whether I was ready to graduate to the OB. Honestly, I’d kinda hoped to stay with the RE for a few more weeks to get another ultrasound or two before being released, but I guess it’s a good sign that she didn’t think that was necessary. I also stopped all estrogen and progesterone supplementation and discontinued Metformin–as the doc said, I’m a normal pregnant lady now, just taking prenatal vitamins! I can’t believe it.
A week later, I went to my first prenatal appointment with my OB. (Actually, the first appointment was with a nurse practitioner, although I think that the rest of my appointments will be with the doctor.) She was nice, but it was a huge change from the RE–they didn’t plan on an ultrasound, but when I expressed disappointment, she did a quick scan herself on their “backup” (aka ancient) machine. The quality was much poorer than at the RE’s office (whether that was the machine or because it was an external, not a transvaginal scan, I’m not sure) but we saw the little heartbeat, still blinking away. Otherwise, the appointment was mostly a review of things I already knew (no alcohol, limited caffeine, blah blah), a pelvic exam, a weight check and some bloodwork. The nurse did corroborate my RE’s admonition of no exercise or sex until 12 weeks (which C is already complaining about–the sex, not the exercise). My RE said that I should avoid sex because of my still-enlarged and sore OHSS ovaries, but the nurse said that it can cause miscarriage, and “miscarriages already occur in 25% of first trimesters, so you don’t want to increase that.” Irritating–first of all, miscarriages after seeing a heartbeat are much less common than that (although certainly not nonexistent), and regardless, it seems unnecessary to preemptively blame people who have sex in the first trimester for miscarriages that may occur. But of course, I’ll follow her directions.
I am finally starting to feel really happy and excited about our baby (which we call Pat, after the SNL character, since we don’t know whether it’s a boy or girl). I actually thought I’d feel more anxious about things not working out (that’s certainly my nature usually), but somehow I actually feel pretty calm and optimistic. Who would have guessed?